I Am The Great Pretender
Did I just show my age by quoting a Platters song? I think so!
I mean I’m not THAT old.. but my parents listened to it.
So the nice thing about NOT being a raid leader and being a healer is I can pretend a lot. I can pretend I know what the hell is going on and nobody will know the difference. I follow everyone and play wack-a-mole on grid. Sure, most of the fights I do have some inkling of what we need to do, but others, not so much.
I came into a guild alt run last night as tank. We made it to Spine of Deathwing and my cover is blown.
This is a fight I’ve healed at least 19 times across 3 healers. That’s not including wipes, since I can only keep track of how many times my toons have been involved in a kill. I think. Anyway, in the 19+ times I’ve seen the fight, not once have I figured out what the fuck is going on. I mean sure, I read the strat once 3 months ago.. but we’ve had it on farm for so long, I just didn’t need to ahem.. review it. For 3 months, this is how I’ve viewed that fight from a healer POV (please note that these may be completely out of order):
- Parachute onto big dragon’s back
- Tanks pick up some things.
- DPS pew pew’s some stuff, but NOT the tentacles (no, I don’t know why)
- A tank or Yakk calls out to stop dps
- DPS pewpew’s a tentacle that has a fiery grip on someone
- DPS kills a tentacle?
- Yakk calls out “stack top right”
- We go back to middle, rinse repeat
- Yakk calls out “stack bottom right”
- I heal shit
- Some big pieces of the dragon fly off
- We parachute down to the Madness platforms and hand out loot
And this is what happens with me tanking:
Parachute onto big dragon’s back
Yakk: Aly all you have to do is pick up the bloods
Me: DnD, take a nap, got it!
Chronoz is tanking a big add…la la la
Yakk: Stack top right
We all stack, DW does a barrel roll
Raid spreads back out to middle
Chronoz is just standing there tanking a big add… la la la
Yakk: stop dps, Chronoz build some stacks
Nothing happens. Random raiders poke Chronoz. Nothing happens and we realize he DC’d
Ambient: Aly taunt it!
I’m not entirely sure what I was taunting but I ran around blood boiling everything until I was pretty sure I was the only player with aggro
Raid: LOL because Aly’s tanking everything
Yakk: Aly build stacks!
Me: I don’t know what that means!
Yakk can no longer speak in complete sentences from laughing too hard
Yakk: (sputtering and catching breath) I- I can’t… I don’t even….
Gamma: How many times have you done this fight Aly??
Me: I just follow people and play whack a mole!
Yakk: Ok let’s call it it’s after 11:30
Me: It’s a shame Giz had to miss this
Yakk still can’t breathe
So yeah, note to self… if I’m in a role that I’m not familiar with, I need to be familiar with that role’s role on each fight or next time Yakk might die from hyperventilation. And that’s not good for anyone.