Home > Confessions, Raiding > I Am The Great Pretender

I Am The Great Pretender

Did I just show my age by quoting a Platters song? I think so!

I mean I’m not THAT old.. but my parents listened to it.

So the nice thing about NOT being a raid leader and being a healer is I can pretend a lot. I can pretend I know what the hell is going on and nobody will know the difference. I follow everyone and play wack-a-mole on grid. Sure, most of the fights I do have some inkling of what we need to do, but others, not so much.

I came into a guild alt run last night as tank. We made it to Spine of Deathwing and my cover is blown.

This is a fight I’ve healed at least 19 times across 3 healers. That’s not including wipes, since I can only keep track of how many times my toons have been involved in a kill. I think. Anyway, in the 19+ times I’ve seen the fight, not once have I figured out what the fuck is going on. I mean sure, I read the strat once 3 months ago.. but we’ve had it on farm for so long, I just didn’t need to ahem.. review it. For 3 months, this is how I’ve viewed that fight from a healer POV (please note that these may be completely out of order):

  • Parachute onto big dragon’s back
  • Tanks pick up some things.
  • DPS pew pew’s some stuff, but NOT the tentacles (no, I don’t know why)
  • A tank or Yakk calls out to stop dps
  • DPS pewpew’s a tentacle that has a fiery grip on someone
  • DPS kills a tentacle?
  • Yakk calls out “stack top right”
  • We go back to middle, rinse repeat
  • Yakk calls out “stack bottom right”
  • I heal shit
  • Some big pieces of the dragon fly off
  • We parachute down to the Madness platforms and hand out loot

And this is what happens with me tanking:

Parachute onto big dragon’s back

Yakk: Aly all you have to do is pick up the bloods
Me: DnD, take a nap, got it!

Chronoz is tanking a big add…la la la

Yakk: Stack top right

We all stack, DW does a barrel roll

Raid spreads back out to middle

Chronoz is just standing there tanking a big add… la la la

Yakk: stop dps, Chronoz build some stacks

Nothing happens. Random raiders poke Chronoz. Nothing happens and we realize he DC’d

Ambient: Aly taunt it!

I’m not entirely sure what I was taunting but I ran around blood boiling everything until I was pretty sure I was the only player with aggro

Raid: LOL because Aly’s tanking everything
Yakk: Aly build stacks!
Me: I don’t know what that means!

Yakk can no longer speak in complete sentences from laughing too hard

Yakk: (sputtering and catching breath) I- I can’t… I don’t even….
Gamma: How many times have you done this fight Aly??
Me: I just follow people and play whack a mole!
Yakk: Ok let’s call it it’s after 11:30
Me: It’s a shame Giz had to miss this

Yakk still can’t breathe

So yeah, note to self… if I’m in a role that I’m not familiar with, I need to be familiar with that role’s role on each fight or next time Yakk might die from hyperventilation. And that’s not good for anyone.

Categories: Confessions, Raiding
  1. March 27, 2012 at 9:24 am

    ROFLMAO!!! OMG Aly!! That was hilarious… Just so you know, we will be picking on you Thursday when we get to that fight 🙂 I ❤ you Aly!!!

    • March 27, 2012 at 9:54 am

      You know.. as much as we pick on him, I don’t even think Giz could top that. I’m just glad Xotica wasn’t there. He might literally have died from lack of oxygen. 🙂

  2. Ashley Oliver
    March 27, 2012 at 10:29 am

    I nearly died from lack of oxygen just reading it….so being there would ahve been my ultimate death!

  1. August 26, 2013 at 8:31 am

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