Home > Confessions, Guildies > Confessions of a Gamer: Getting Too Close

Confessions of a Gamer: Getting Too Close

There are a number of different ways I could go with this post. I could take the jaded cynical route. I’m not sure that would do any good though. It would be easy though. Too easy. When there’s so much emotion churning, it’s difficult which one to run with… sadness? anger? confusion?

It happens to many people. You meet someone online, whether it’s in chat rooms or MMOs. You form friendships that can feel as close as if you know them real life. You may even form something with someone that goes beyond friendship. You may find yourself caring so much about someone that you would do anything for them.

I feel that way about many people I’ve met in WoW. Some, I’ve even met in real life. They know if they need something, they can count on me. Just as I count on them. Star just might be my best friend in the whole wide world of warcraft. I’ve formed almost a sisterhood with the girls in my guild. I would do anything for them. I would do anything for just about anyone in my guild. Just as I would do anything for the person I allowed to get too close.

This person had a hard shell, and I was finding my way through it. He had his very sweet moments. It was because of these moments that I grew to trust him. After knowing him for several years in the game, he was a very good friend. That’s probably the hardest right there, losing that friendship, for reasons I can’t even begin to figure out. I don’t understand how someone can just turn on a dime. I never betrayed him. I’m the one that should be angry and upset. He made promises he couldn’t live up to. But I still believed in him. I’m the type of person that sees the good in everyone, and I treat people the way I hope to be treated.

I let my guard down and let him in. In hindsight, if I were granted a do-over, the only thing I would have changed would be to not let our relationship go beyond the boundary of friendship.

This doesn’t mean I’ll close myself off. I’m not going to build the proverbial wall. This isn’t going to change who I am. If the opportunity presented itself with someone else, I’d still take it. Would I be just as caring, understanding and generous as I was for him? As I would do for anyone I care about? You betcha.

Call me a fool. Or just call me a Masochist.

 

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Categories: Confessions, Guildies
  1. Rae
    April 13, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    This post of yours has brought back so many memmories of my own in a similar situation. I met someone online. We became friends, then close friends, then more, and then we were talking marriage after we had met up irl a few times. Then one day he was a completely different person who wanted completely different things from what he had just 2 weeks before. I was totally and completely crushed because this guy had been a part of my life for 6 years. As a result, I am very guarded when it comes to friendships with single men. More so online, but in reality as well. Kudos to you for being brave and willing to take a chance again. I think I just need a little bit more time to be bitter, haha.

    • April 13, 2012 at 9:35 pm

      Wow.. that’s almost the same story.

      It’s so easy to be bitter. And I’ve been very bitter for the past few days. I knew this was something I wanted to blog about and it took me that long to figure out just how to write it. I needed to simmer down a bit and not sound like a jilted bitch. In my rants with my girls I totally was… and that’s ok.That’s what they’re there for. 🙂

      There’s nothing wrong with being bitter. Shit happens. And we deal with it.

  2. April 14, 2012 at 5:38 am

    I think that, perhaps, what outraged me the most about the whole ordeal is that I was never given a straightforward answer as to why he wanted to end things. If a guy is breaking up with you because of some reason that makes him look bad he should man-up and admit to them. I had to find out from a mutual friend that he wanted a certain assignment to further his carreer in the miltary and being tied down would keep him from getting it. I also pieced together from what he told me that a female co-worker had been insinuating herself between us for some time. All this was three years ago, and truth be told right now I’m more mad at myself than I am at him (which isn’t much honestly). I should have seen and recognized his commitment issues that he swears he doesn’t have. I also found out by the same mutual friend that he had some deep regrets in letting me go. Not long after I found out from him that he was turned down for the assignment and Miss Boyfriend-Stealing-Bimbo was basically just a rebound. Whew, that was cathartic and I didn’t mean to hijack this thread with my old issues. Sorry! 😦 Hugs to you, Alykii! I am always willing to be a shoulder to cry on or even a stand-in to yell at.

    • April 14, 2012 at 9:33 am

      hugs back atcha Dhevon!

  3. Freggos
    April 14, 2012 at 8:29 am

    /hug

  4. April 14, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    ❤ Aly!!! Don't let it get ya down… You know we girls have your back and would do anything for you as well 🙂 ❤ and /hugs!

  5. Ashley Oliver
    April 16, 2012 at 8:46 am

    You know we will always be your girls Aly, and we are all Masochistic love, thats why we blend so beautifully! Wish you weren’t so damn far away I’d give you a massive huge! <3<3<3

    • April 16, 2012 at 11:55 am

      o my…. a massive huge what?? o.0

      • Ashley Oliver
        April 16, 2012 at 12:34 pm

        LMFAO! Massive hug! Jeebus woman way to take a typo the wrong way! <3<3

        stupid DROID.

  6. Stårfire
    April 16, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    Yes, power to the ladies! We ❤ our Aly! "Sisterhood" is definitely the word for it. The ladies of MT are definitely a tight-knit bunch. I wouldn't have it any other way.

    And I definitely agree that you shouldn't change. You weren't the one with the problem – he just proved himself unworthy. Keep on being awesome.

  7. Calianna
    April 17, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    After everything that was said and done, I’m just glad to see that you’re not going to shut down and close yourself off. It’s so incredibly easy to do that…been there, done that. The repercussions of shutting down take YEARS to reverse, so more power to you, Kim. Keep your head up, keep smiling and let yourself shine through. Give love and receive it willingly. We all love you, sweetheart *big hugs*

    ❤ Christie

    • April 17, 2012 at 3:08 pm

      thanks girlfriend ❤
      I'm taking the high road on this. Life's too short.

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