Hello, my name is Aly, and I’m an Altoholic
Before I begin, the nickname “Aly” came from my former main toon Alykii. I haven’t played Alykii in 2 expansions, but the name stuck. Not that I mind, it is still part of my real name. Just not the part that everyone in real life calls me. Anyway…
First and foremost, I’m a healer. When you ask me to dps, you do so at your own risk. When you ask me to tank, then you’re just asking for trouble. I heal. I play whack-a-mole on my vuhdo boxes, and take a lot of abuse. What Masochist wouldn’t enjoy the abuse anyway? Right? Right???
I actually started out on my hunter Alykki. It was shortly after TBC launched, and I wanted to play in Kara with the big boys. ((whips out my cane and hearing aid)) Back in those days we didn’t have those newfangled trap launchers, and the survival spec didn’t exist. I sucked on my hunter. Autoshot, melee stats… go!
So my paladin Alykii was born. I wasn’t planning on healing on her, I didn’t know what I was doing with her. But she ended up being my main healer from mid-BC through the end of Wrath.
I wasn’t always an altoholic. I stuck with my hunter for about a year before moving on to the paladin. And even then, my paladin was it heading into Wrath. It was mid-Wrath when I started leveling alts in earnest. I blame my guild. We were running 25 man Naxx in Blood Red Skies, but a full clear was hit or miss depending on whether or not we had at least 2 shadow priests in the group for the Instructor fight. So being the helpful little peon I was at the time, I started leveling a priest. But being the ADHD person I am, she didn’t make it to 80 before we moved on from Naxx. I wasn’t really into the priest, so she became my bank toon and I leveled my mage and warlock instead. Mages were fun easy. I leveled frost, then tried out that crazy frostfire spec everyone raved about. I couldn’t really get the hang of it, so I went arcane, which was a very good raiding spec back then.
But the next toon I got to 80 was my warlock. I’ve only played affliction on her, and that’s all I’ll probably ever play. When I started raiding with her, I was in the top 2 dps on Sartherian while still wearing blues. So Lunatyk (now Inkky) became my regular raiding alt for a while. Until I leveled my mage and had more fun with that. Luna was then relegated to PVP bitch while Wykkid (now Blynkki) became my raiding alt. Ever play a mage on Sindragosa, then switch back to heals? And spamming what *was* the blink button to get out of her AOE, and realizing after you died that you were pounding your FOL button (which doesn’t work while you’re moving)? Yeah. Me neither.
Somewhere around Ulduar, Alykii became a viable tank. I’m not entirely sure how that happened. I think I was still in BRS and I was building a tank offspec in Naxx (before dual specs were introduced). Ulduar came out, someone in guild said “Aly you have a tank set, right?” I said “uhhh… sure”. Invite pops up and I’m summoned to Ulduar.
Me: Uh, I’ve never tanked before and I haven’t even killed Ignis yet
RL: Just pick up the adds and drag them through the fire and then into the water
How I managed to perfect the mechanics without having tanked or seen the fight before, I have no idea. And after that I somehow became a semi-regular pinch tank while full time healing.
When the ICC 5 mans came out, I decided to level my druid. Kykki was sitting at level 29 semi-twinked for kitty pvp. I got her to 80, geared up and healing ICC. At this point we were running 2 ICC groups and I was tanking one while healing the other. Going kersplat on Marrowgar the day ICC opened was quite amusing.
The WOTLK expansion was when my severe altoholism reared its ugly head. I wanted to level everything! By the time most of ICC was on farm, I had my paladin, mage, warlock, hunter and druid all at 80. As we were working through the frost wing, I leveled up Kynkki my abandoned priest. I still planned on her being a shadow priest. Until we got to the Lich King fight. And me being a healer and all… well. Kynkki was all of a sudden my new “main”.
I didn’t like the paladin changes in Cataclysm, so I decided to retire Alykii for the time being. I started out by leveling Kynkki to 85. She turned into a holy priest because the holy changes looked pretty cool, despite the fact that everyone was whining that priests were “broken”. With the introduction of goblins as a playable race, I couldn’t wait to start leveling my brand new baby goblin shaman Twynkki. She was born and raised in Cata. After I got her to 85, I couldn’t figure out how to play her so she got shelved. I’m pretty sure the druid was next, followed by my mage, warlock, paladin and hunter.
After the whole Deathknight novelty wore off, I decided to start leveling a DK. At this time, I had changed my mage’s name to Blynkki because.. well… she blinks. It was more appropriate to my naming scheme to name my mage Blynkki. Besides, there was another blood elf mage named Wykked running around pretending to be me. It’s like when you show up to the high school dance wearing the hottest dress you could find, but then some heather shows up wearing the same dress and looks better in it. And then you glare at each other, hiss and pretend you’re still a special snowflake.
After I race changed Blynkki to a goblin, the sub-naming scheme dawned on me. Luna became Inkky and was turned into a goblin. The DK was a goblin named Pynkki (and I wanted to give her pink pigtails but goblins didn’t have pink hair, so she ended up with purple pigtails, which in certain light looks almost pink). So I had Blynkki, Inkky and Pynkki. I also had Kynkki and Twynkki. Shortly before Cataclysm hit, I also leveled a rogue Snykki. She made it to 80 and… is still 80. At this point I was up to 8 level 85’s. But something was missing….
At the end of Cataclysm, I did the unthinkable. I rolled a warrior. I haven’t gotten very far with her yet. But she’s a goblin named Klydde. At last, my Pac-Man goblin family was complete!
(yes, I have issues)
At this time I had 4 healers – Kykki, Kynkki, Alykii and Twynkki. And Pynkki was a tank! Well… I use “tank” in a very loose sense of the word.
And then MOP hit. In the beginning, this expansion was the alt-killer. The grind to 90 sucked. The grind to gear and get ready for raiding sucked. The rep grinds sucked. The dailies sucked. LFR sucked. But we all knew that Blizzard would eventually make it easier on us.
So Kykki was it for a while. My lone 90. My main. Of course, that wasn’t going to last.
Twynkki was next. She turned into a lava spewing electrocuting hot little panda. I was gearing her for both heals and dps. DPS’ing was pretty fun. Healing, not so much. Resto shamans sucked across the board. I sucked even more because I just couldn’t play a resto shaman. My healer instincts were there, just the button pushing, not so much.
So what the hell, let’s level the mage! Mages not being able to be arcane anymore made me sad. Trying to play as a fire mage made me sadder. And nerd ragey. And all my responses to my hideous mage dps was “Ima healer lemme alone!” So I leveled the hunter. I leveled the hunter not to actually play her, but to max out leatherworking. See, I’m not just an altoholic, I’m also a profession ho. I must max all the things! So I did. Which meant I also had to level my priest who was a tailor/bs. Suddenly I have 7 level 90s…. err…. I mean 6. Yeah… 6. That you know of! bwahahaha!
Oh alright. I pulled a Reluu and leveled a 2nd druid. A secret 2nd druid. Shhhh. Her portrait is blue. I had to do it! I had to have the nerdpoints! I never leveled another toon on *that* side of the fence before. Granted, I cheated because my sister leveled it to mid 60s on my 2nd account, and I resurrected the account and an immediate boost to 80. So I really went only 10 levels. Don’t judge! /hangs head in shame
But Kykii is another tree. Yes, I must have two trees. Shaddup. I’ll eventually move her back to the good guys side. But leveling Kykii was really an experiment in masochism. See, I leveled her by questing. As resto. Talk about painful. Around 89 I just couldn’t kill shit, so I sucked it up and made the OS switch to boom. Yes, I still hate boom. Her OS will either be bear or kitty. Yes, I must have 2 kitties. Shaddup.
So that’s the history of my altoholism. I do have a level 74 priest (yes, another one) on the horizon. Yes I need two of those too.
My name is Aly, and I’m an altoholic.