Archive for the ‘Confessions’ Category

I Am The Great Pretender

March 27, 2012 4 comments

Did I just show my age by quoting a Platters song? I think so!

I mean I’m not THAT old.. but my parents listened to it.

So the nice thing about NOT being a raid leader and being a healer is I can pretend a lot. I can pretend I know what the hell is going on and nobody will know the difference. I follow everyone and play wack-a-mole on grid. Sure, most of the fights I do have some inkling of what we need to do, but others, not so much.

I came into a guild alt run last night as tank. We made it to Spine of Deathwing and my cover is blown.

This is a fight I’ve healed at least 19 times across 3 healers. That’s not including wipes, since I can only keep track of how many times my toons have been involved in a kill. I think. Anyway, in the 19+ times I’ve seen the fight, not once have I figured out what the fuck is going on. I mean sure, I read the strat once 3 months ago.. but we’ve had it on farm for so long, I just didn’t need to ahem.. review it. For 3 months, this is how I’ve viewed that fight from a healer POV (please note that these may be completely out of order):

  • Parachute onto big dragon’s back
  • Tanks pick up some things.
  • DPS pew pew’s some stuff, but NOT the tentacles (no, I don’t know why)
  • A tank or Yakk calls out to stop dps
  • DPS pewpew’s a tentacle that has a fiery grip on someone
  • DPS kills a tentacle?
  • Yakk calls out “stack top right”
  • We go back to middle, rinse repeat
  • Yakk calls out “stack bottom right”
  • I heal shit
  • Some big pieces of the dragon fly off
  • We parachute down to the Madness platforms and hand out loot

And this is what happens with me tanking:

Parachute onto big dragon’s back

Yakk: Aly all you have to do is pick up the bloods
Me: DnD, take a nap, got it!

Chronoz is tanking a big add…la la la

Yakk: Stack top right

We all stack, DW does a barrel roll

Raid spreads back out to middle

Chronoz is just standing there tanking a big add… la la la

Yakk: stop dps, Chronoz build some stacks

Nothing happens. Random raiders poke Chronoz. Nothing happens and we realize he DC’d

Ambient: Aly taunt it!

I’m not entirely sure what I was taunting but I ran around blood boiling everything until I was pretty sure I was the only player with aggro

Raid: LOL because Aly’s tanking everything
Yakk: Aly build stacks!
Me: I don’t know what that means!

Yakk can no longer speak in complete sentences from laughing too hard

Yakk: (sputtering and catching breath) I- I can’t… I don’t even….
Gamma: How many times have you done this fight Aly??
Me: I just follow people and play whack a mole!
Yakk: Ok let’s call it it’s after 11:30
Me: It’s a shame Giz had to miss this

Yakk still can’t breathe

So yeah, note to self… if I’m in a role that I’m not familiar with, I need to be familiar with that role’s role on each fight or next time Yakk might die from hyperventilation. And that’s not good for anyone.

Categories: Confessions, Raiding

Double Facepalm Fail

March 14, 2012 1 comment

I just had to. Being the official pooper scooper of my office, it was appropriate. This actually came to mind as I was scooping a very special kind of poo at work. I work with some very special people. Not in the awesome sense, but in the window licking helmet wearing short bus special sense. These people are getting a box of crayons and a lollipop for Christmas. I’m taking bets on what one they eat and what they try to color their walls with.

Without going into too much boring details of my actual job, I’m going to use a WoW analogy. Think of the big spider boss in Firelands. Player A  has to kill the spiderlings, Player B has to kite the drone away from the spiderlings, Player C has to kill the spinners and Player D has to keep the boss’s attention and not fall through the hole.

This is what takes place at work:

  • Player A is poking each spiderling individually with a stick
  • Player B has his chef hat and fishing pole equipped and is kiting the drone into the spiderlings
  • Player C wandered off to Alysrazor, got lost and hearthed
  • Player D fell through the hole and can’t get back up
  • I’m stuck having to AOE ALL THE THINGS and kill the spider all by myself while everyone gets free loot.

I need a vacation.

Categories: Confessions

Confessions of a Healer: The PUG From Hell

February 24, 2012 11 comments

Now I like to think I’m a decent healer. I’m never going to be ranked on World of Logs and I don’t care. I do my job, when we wipe it’s (usually) not directly attributed to me. (I have been known to eat a heroic stomp from time to time, but still).

Anyway, I’ve gotten a lot of grief in PUGs when I was leveling/gearing new healers, or at the beginning of an expansion where I’m learning all the new mechanics Blizzard throws at us. I’m all “whatever, it’ll get better”. And trust me, I’ve gotten a lot of shit. From figuring out pally healing again at the beginning of Wrath or figuring out priest healing at the beginning of Cataclysm, I’ve been told in many various ways, languages, dialects, etc that I suck, I’m a terrible healer and I should quit playing. This usually happens if I’m running with a group that belongs to the same guild, because hey even if they’re full of shit, their guildies will back them up.

(there was one instance in early Cata I was in heroic Vortex Pinnacle healing on my priest that a cat druid doing 6k dps was spewing a rain of insults at me, and his guild mate the tank was whispering me telling me I was doing fine and to ignore him – that was actually quite nice for a change).

So I generally don’t PUG randoms or LFR or anything on my main (my druid). There’s no need to and I don’t want to deal with the bullshit. However, after throwing around some strategies on our forums about Heroic Ooze Boss, it was decided that it should be 2 healed, and we need an extra melee dps. Meow! So I logged in, took a look at the feral gear I’ve collected over the past year.. not great but it was a start, and off I went in search of JP, VP and some welfare 378s with agility.I figure I’d que as heals blow through 5 mans (I like to think of my healer as OP for 5 mans), and call it a day.

End Time pops up. Ok then, pretty sure there’s something I can use in there. We get the “easier” bosses Sylvannas and Baine (for the record I HATE Tyrande). I zone in and the tank is already 3/4 dead on trash.

“o hai you might want to wait for your healer”

“LOL sorry I thought u were here”

So I healed him up, no big deal. We get to Sylvannas. For the record the group comp is 2 DKs, 2 shammies and me. They were from the same guild on Shattered Hand. Oh boy. This is either going to be really really smooth or really really bad. So we start the boss fight and BOOM the dps’ing DK goes from full to dead in half a second. Purple stuff is bad, mmkay? Battle rez.. BOOM dead. DK says “fuck this!”. Then the add comes out and the shammy BOOM full health to dead in half a second. Seriously??! I couldn’t even get a swiftmend on him before he died.

Dead Shaman: “you are the worst healer I have ever seen”

Me: “Are you fucking kidding me? Don’t stand in the purple shit!”

Dead Shaman & Dead DK: “WE WEREN’T”

Add goes down, we run out and the 2nd Shaman blows up from Sylvannas’ AOE.

2nd Dead Shaman: “healer you need to go dps so i can heal or leave”

Me: “Kick me then, I’m not taking the CD”

I’ve done that fight a hundred times. DPS never take any damage. One of the shammies ankh’s and immediately dies before I could cast a rejuv. Note to the dumbass shaman: if there’s a line of purple fire under your corpse, don’t reincarnate. Somehow the boss dies and they haven’t kicked me yet.

So we get to the Obsidian area of fire. We ride around the trash, and kill the boss with no issues, but they’re still spewing insults. One of the shammies and myself zone out and back in to get to the Bronze dragonshrine. The other 3 dumbasses decide to swim through the fire, and go through the portal. As I’m waiting with the shaman in Bronze, I see the other 3 health plummet and they all die. I almost die laughing. “you guys pull a pat or something?” and the shaman says “you know it’s easier if you zone out and back in”.

They all run back and the other shammy says “your heals are terrible for your gear”.  And then another said “yeah you’re a krek”. I don’t say anything because after all, I didn’t understand what the hell he just said. He then said “that’s an insult” and boom, kicked for the first time ever. I wish that wasn’t such a colossal waste of time, since I was only about 2 5-mans away from another VP item.

I wanted to cry. I mean, I’m used to that bullshit on a new healer. Not on my main. I’ve never even had that much trouble in those 5 mans. So I didn’t run another dungeon for the rest of the night. I said “fuck that I’m gonna go fish.”

So I have 3 days to finish gearing my feral spec and to learn how to play a cat. So I’m throwing out a call to arms to my guildies! Come run 5 mans with me!! I never wanna PUG ever again!


Categories: Confessions

Stupid Cupid

February 13, 2012 3 comments

Gotta love the holiday consumerism. Out come the vultures… the jewelers, the car salesmen, everyone with something to sell with such great reasons why what they’ve got is the “perfect valentines day gift!” Nothing says I love you like a new Toyota! Or the cliche cop outs of teddy bears or bouquets of flowers that my cats will end up eating.

(True story: there was one time I went out with someone and my date brought me a bouquet of flowers. I sneezed the whole time. And we had to go to Target to buy a vase. I put them on my kitchen counter. A few days later I come home to see my kitchen floor covered in shattered glass and shredded petals. All over the goddamn place).

Color me not a fan. I’m easy.

(no not the “I’m a slut” easy, but the “don’t spend money on stupid shit for me” easy).

You know what I care about? It’s the every day little things that shows you really care. A bouquet of roses doesn’t tell me much except the fact you didn’t know I was allergic to them. To be honest, a single flower is more likely to make me melt than a bouquet of anything.  I’m all about simplicity. Especially since I no longer own that $10 vase from Target.

(True Story: someone that has been in love with me for a decade once sent me a card from Zurich with crushed petals in it – now THAT was romantic – I still have the card, and the petals, 6 years later).

If ya got to wait until February 14th to tell someone how much you mean to them, you’ve got problems. I’m not materialistic at all. I care more about the creative ways people show they care year round. Like making me soup when I’m sick. Like a random “I’m thinking of you” e-card. Like dedicating a song to me over the radio. You know, stuff that you don’t need to spend a fortune on. That’s not to say gifts aren’t ok. They really are – when there’s a lot of thought put into it.

(I ❤ the statue that I have on my nightstand! love love love it).

I just realized that I may have a problem overusing parentheses.

Anyway, It’s the whole “obligatory” thing. If you feel like you have to, don’t bother. If you want to, it doesn’t matter when! 🙂

Categories: Confessions

I Don’t Wanna Work I Just Wanna Bang On the Drum All Day

January 30, 2012 7 comments

So this isn’t directly about WoW. But it’s sorta related. In my mind.

When I relocated to Tucson from Boston, I was getting away from an extreme psychologically toxic work environment at MIT. This was an environment that drove out a former Wall Street worker who ended up relocating to Phoenix, and another staff member also left that department and ended up in Tucson. That’s the kind of place it was. 2600 miles should be far enough. It was cutthroat. You couldn’t trust a soul because any sign of weakness and you would be eaten for breakfast and shit out by 5pm. When the department started downsizing and we had to fill out questionnaires justifying the existence of our positions, that’s when it became hell on earth. Everyone was out to sell me down the river to make themselves look good.

The most educated  people would start working there and leave feeling that they lacked the competence to tie their shoes. So I moved 2600 miles to get away from it with the combined confidence and self esteem of Billy Cundiff and Bill Buckner.

(yay sports references!)

My current job at the University of Arizona started out great. The $18k/year pay cut I took was the cost of sanity and I paid it gladly. The people were great. After 6 years of hearing how incompetent I was and how I couldn’t do anything right, I came to a place where people actually turn to me for expertise. I was enjoying it here, but at the same time after a year and a half, it’s gotten pretty lonely. I haven’t made many friends – just work acquaintances, and the boys of Tucson have serious defects.

And it’s already started to happen here. Out of the blue came layoff # 1. There’s rumors of there being a couple more. My area was completely reorganized, so that my role changed from interacting with people and processing their paperwork to straight up processing. That’s right. Staring at lists all day. Fun times. To make matters worse, they’re kicking me out of my office and moving me to a cubicle. How demoralizing is that? To make it even worse? On top of the 2nd largest case load, they’re giving me another group of very high strung students. If someone in my area gets laid off, that’s more work for the survivors. Something’s gotta give.

I’m not happy. I can’t afford to work here as it is. That $18k pay cut really hurt. Someone with a Master’s Degree and my experience should not be making what I’m making. I was an optimist a year and a half ago. Now I’m a realist. While a bad day here beats any good day working at MIT, that doesn’t mean I have to put up with it. I’m not as tied to Tucson as I was to Boston. In a way, I’m truly free to pursue whatever I want.

Categories: Confessions

Confessions of a Burnt Out Healer

January 17, 2012 3 comments

I’ve been healing since The Burning Crusade. That’s a long time in WoW years. Sure, I’ve dabbled in dps now and then (and admittedly very bad at it). Hell I’ve even tanked a boss or three during Wrath. But I am and always will be a healer.

But it’s getting old. Nerfs…buffs… everything that Blizzard changes makes me love.. and hate healing. The fact that we’ve been going through tanks lately has made me think about this a bit. Alykii has been my main for close to 4 years. She was pretty much retired at the end of Wrath. I’ve slowly started getting tank gear for her again, but have been too afraid to try tanking in dungeons.. simply because I’m not familiar with paladin tanking anymore. So I’ve been running holy and picking up tank gear that’s not needed by the PUG tanks or picking up JP tank gear.

I have to stop here and say that Blizzard is screwy. The Twilight heroics should be on a completely separate random table than the rest of the cataclysm heroics. If I want to get creamed in a twilight heroic, I’ll que for a twilight heroic. That being said, last week I started que-ing for random heroics. End Time popped up. I ran away screaming and opened a ticket. The GM couldn’t help the 30 minute cooldown I just endured, but he did say he’d submit a ticket to the dev team to see if that’s a bug or intended. (the GM responded within 10 minutes!). Ok then.

After the 30 minute CD ended I que’d up. End Time. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. My holy set is ilvl 346. My tank set is ilvl 344. That’s not going to end well. Ok fine, let’s just see how bad it gets. I go heals and pop in last boss! Weeee! With some well timed hourglass hits I might just get through this. We get through the trash, and on to the boss. Couple of DPS die. I get creamed. Booom hourglass. Pewpewpewpew….couple of DPS die. I get creamed. BOOM hourglass. Rinse, repeat. No wipes. Yay achievement and new tanky gear! FTR, I’m not doing that again.

Anyway… I’m just not feeling the paladin this expansion. So I have this DK lying around. Almost 2 expansions later and I’ve not leveled a DK. I’ve started DKs and deleted them. Two or three times. But with my naming scheme and a sub-naming pac-man scheme (inkky blynkki..) I needed another goblin named Pynkki. That’s right! A cute pink-pigtailed fierce goblin of death! Rawr! For some reason I couldn’t color her hair pink so it’s purple-ish. Which kinda looks pink-ish against her dark skin.

I leveled her a bit, learned the ways of the DK tank in some outland dungeons. Months later when I finally got her out of outland and into northrend I sort of gave up again. She hung out at level 71 until two days ago. Because we need a tank so I got motivated. Got her 10 levels in 2 days. Tanked her way through Northrend. Now she’s tanking baby cata dungeons! and living! Weee! I’m kind of digging this. It just seems so easy. I know my limits so I try to use CC when i get squished by casters. But I also know my cooldowns! Rune tap (or blood tap? something tap. It lights up when I get low).. and um.. this button that looks like a blood drop. And icebound fortitude. And raising a zombie just to kill it for health. And some other buttons I added to my CD section of my action bar. Now that I have mastery I reforged all my gear that didn’t have mastery into blood shield of awesomeness. Considering I’m not that experienced as a tank, I think I’m doing really well at it.

I think I might try out the tank thing in MoP. It’s time to stop healing for a while.

Categories: Confessions

Death By Chicken Nuggets: A Reflection on the Past 2 Years

December 5, 2011 1 comment

<Masochistic Tendencies> turned two years old yesterday. There was a lot of stuff going on so there wasn’t a lot of time to actually do any group activities. It was just as well, planning can be a headache. I’ll wait until the 5th year to plan something big.

We’ve come a long way in the past 2 years. When the charter was signed, there were just a few of us left reeling from the drama explosion that killed <Blood Red Skies>. We had a completely overhauled leadership team that consisted of myself, Star, Phaedara and Nimune (who left in search of better raid times). Shortly after Nimune left, Krur was promoted to officer, and Phae was our de facto raid leader.

Recruitment started slowly. Our first raid was 12/12/09 in Onyxia 2.0. I don’t think we even fielded a full 10 man. I do remember a former BRS’er who didn’t come to MT filled in as heals. The next day, in the true masochistic way, we ran face first into ICC 10. It did not end well. I was tanking on Aly and went splat in 5 seconds. The healers were all “wtfbbq”. Anyway, after that clustershizzle, we said ok! Back to TOC!

In the next few months, recruitment picked up (ohai Giz and Gamma!) but progression was slow and some folks were getting impatient (ahem Giz), and decided to move on.. (and come back… and move on… and come back…).

We finally killed Lord Marrowgar in early February 2010. On the night of that kill, the guild’s most epic wipe occurred. To this day, the words “chicken nuggets” strikes fear into the hearts of those that were there. If I remember right, Giz, Phae Star and Krur were there. I think Myranda might have been tanking as well. You all know what I’m talking about. You’re laughing and shaking your head as you read this, before I even tell the tale.

Part of me has to blame Giz, just a little bit. We zone in, and start to clear trash leading up to Marrowgar. As holy pally, my healing assignment was tanks. Other healers know I’m on tanks, and they trust that I.. you know.. can heal the tanks. So we get to the second room, and I stop for mana. I’m eating my dinner as we’re raiding as well. At this point I assumed that Giz would continue when I said I’m ready. Instead, I think he was just looking at my mana bar, saw it was full and said “ok here we go!”… charge…..splat.

Giz: Aly what happened?

Me: Sorry I lost focus for a second and didn’t have time to catch up

Giz: What were you doing?

Me: I was eating chicken nuggets and I dropped one


So now you know that if I say I’m eating chicken nuggets during a raid, be afraid. Be very afraid. As a joke, the weeks… hell months.. after that, there was always a remark at the beginning of the raid. “Aly, put down the chicken nuggets!” or “Aly isn’t armed with chicken nuggets this week are you”… Or in the forums. We were discussing tackling Festergut and..

re: MT Progression

Postby Alykii on Thu Feb 18, 2010 2:05 pm
I was rounding it by saying “almost” 6k. Because of the fluctuations due to RNG, moving, finger slipped, eating a chicken nugget, etc I rounded very slightly upward.

re: MT Progression

Postby Phaedara on Thu Feb 18, 2010 2:23 pm
Alykii wrote:
eating a chicken nugget
I got pwned by a chicken nugget in ICC. True Story.

re: MT Progression

Postby Derfel85 on Thu Feb 18, 2010 7:21 pm
and yea, eating chicken nuggets wipes our raids, apparently. I cannot confirm, as i was not there.

re: MT Progression

Postby Krur on Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:19 am
it dosen’t wipe the raid juts kills the tank she is healing Happy

re: MT Progression

Postby Alykii on Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:07 am
we actually did wipe..

yeah. Fun times.

We made progress in ICC10 after that, and recruitment was going swimmingly. We had enough players for 2 10-man teams! Woohoo! We had our “progression team” on Wed/Thurs nights and a “sign up” group on Sun/Mon nights. At this time Phae had decided to take a break from raiding/raid leading/etc due to massive burnout. I’m pretty sure he made a chicken nugget reference in his retirement post.

Through the spring and early summer, we had a great Raid Leader. He was hard-nosed, efficient and got us to Sindragosa. Until, inexplicably, he lost his mind. After that little bout of drama, Giz, back from his stint on the dark side, stepped up as a Raid Leader. Just a few weeks before Cataclysm hit, we killed Arthas.

In 2011, the guild exploded – in a good way! The roster went from 100ish to over 300. Not sure how the foo that happened. I’ll blame Giz. Ok, so 200ish may be alts. But still, that’s a lot of rassafriggin people. We started T11 as one group, which expanded to 2 groups when Sal, Igoa, Orcshot, Chronon,  Barbas and last but not least and definitely the most awesome Py joined (let’s just call the guild <Masochistic Rising> or <Nebulous Tendencies>.. seriously, those 5 plus Giz, Emor, Phae, Minnax, Feriluce all from the same guild at one point). Then summer happened. Firelands sucked so everyone took breaks. Fielding 2 10-mans became difficult. Progression through FL was slow at best. Then Yakk took over one of the groups and… zoom zoom! Finally, after a few more members joined, we ended up with three groups in October. Two groups killed Ragnaros, one group killed all but Ragnaros. I’m happy with our T12 accomplishments.

MT In Review – Highlights:

10. Creating the best guild in my WoW experience

9. Killing Arthas

8. Going “splat” on Marrowgar during my first ICC tanking experience

7. Giz forgetting his righteous fury every week, and other assorted Gizisms.

6. Increasing our roster exponentially

5. Getting 2 heroic kills while the content was still current

4. Great raid leadership in Phaedara, Yakkypoo, Giz, Zal and Crix

3. Fantastic guild leadership in Star, Rodin, Krur and Pimpdaddy G

2. Chicken Nuggets

1. The friendships, community and teamwork. MT has come a LONG way since the guild charter was signed on December 4, 2009. #’s 2-10 is what makes this guild #1.

I love MT. I love the people. I love the environment. I truly appreciate the support, teamwork, blood sweat and tears that went into building this guild. I could write so much more, but I’ll never be able to say enough.

/grouptacklehugs ❤

Categories: Confessions, Guildies

Confessions of a Masochist: No more predictions!

November 4, 2011 3 comments

Ok that’s the last time I’m going to make any predictions.. rawr.

I can sense the frustration…. I wish there was something I could do to just make it all click for them. Extend the lockout and just deal with Rag? Masochistic, yes. Good idea? Who knows. It’s not up to me. They’re clearing 6/7 in one night, my thoughts is why bother extending it unless they want to spend 4 hours on him? Will the extra 2 hours help? I sure as hell hope so.

Anyway, on to other masochistic adventures.. I decided out of sheer boredom to work on Loremaster on my mage. Not only is this achievement for those who enjoy punishment, but I’m doing it completely from scratch. The quests I did as a baby mage? Not in the game anymore after Cataclysm hit.

So far I’ve done Silverpine forest. I LOVE the lore there. Funny enough, I ran a baby worgen through the other side of the story because I was curious. I wanted to cry. Yes, I bleed horde blood but what the Gilneans went through was so wrong. I hated Sylvannas after that. I wish she would have just stayed dead when Godfrey and his friends shot her at the Greymane wall. Bitch deserved to die. She’s no better than Arthas. Really. I have more choice words for her but I’ll stop there.

Anyway, on to Hillsbrad Foothills. This region provides the comic relief from the drama of Silverpine Forest and the Battle for Gilneas. I was laughing so hard I had tears.. having the blood elf Johny Awesome ride up on his sparkle pony looking for quests.. Dumass the nub and Kingslayer Orkus the elitist… it’s even funny when I have to save the kingslayer’s ass from drowning later (I ran the quests when I leveled my shaman). Plus the fact that South shore is buried under a pool of goo is just… awesome.

After I finish up Eastern Kingdoms (including Twilight Highlands), I’ll hit Kalimdor (including Mount Hyjal and Uldum), then Outlands, then Northrend then back to Deepholme and Vashj (which I am NOT looking forward to btw…stupid underwater shit…).

Taking bets on whether I’ll finish before the next expansion?



Categories: Confessions

Confessions of a Guild Leader: The Raid Leader that Lost His Mind

November 2, 2011 2 comments

Being a Guild Leader isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be sometimes. It’s hard enough managing things in game. But sometimes, and I can only pray that situations like this are rare, that you get that person… the one who does everything he can to ruin you and your guild.. even taking it out of game and making real life threats against you.

Summer 2010, we were raiding ICC, and making progress. Enter the Raid Leader that lost his mind.

Our new raid leader was a warlock. He used to be a raid leader in a top 500 guild back in the day.. so he was a bit rough around the edges, but he was a good raid leader. He was a grumpy man, but not in the emo sort of way… or so we thought. With him at the helm we progressed to Sindragosa mid summer 2010. And we hit the proverbial wall.

At this time we were not extending lockouts. With the trouble Sindy was giving us, we did not want to lose morale by wiping on her for 4 hours a week, so we were doing full clears up to that point. So our Raid Leader was getting frustrated. The frustration was exacerbated by some crazy IRL stuff he had going on. I’m going to stop here and say this guy had Bipolar Disorder. Bipolars are perfectly normal when they are on their medication – you can’t even tell there’s anything wrong for the most part. However, when they are not taking their meds, they become very very unstable. That summer, with all the real life shit he was being handed (that I didn’t know about at the time), he stopped taking his meds and started drinking.

For weeks it was building up. He was getting very combative and hostile on our forums and in our raids. If someone suggested an alternate strat, he took it as a personal attack against his raid leading skill. If someone asked an innocent question, he would bite their head off after somehow taking it the wrong way. He then started making suicide threats on facebook which scared me and Star. When I tried talking to him to get him to calm down,  he snapped and /gquit.

When I tried sending him tells asking him what happened, what’s going on, I’m here if he needed to talk…he refused to talk to me, so I just let it go. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. He started on the Uldaman forum, with a very subtle dig that probably didn’t make sense to anyone else reading it. One day, Star and I were chatting about something in the officer channel when he logged in. It was something that was personal, but at the time I didn’t think much of him over hearing it because it was something we could all just laugh at.

Without going into detail, he decided to take the personal comments I made, and publicize them in the server forums, in trade chat, to anyone that will listen. Due to the nature of the comments, it was in fact sexual harassment. I reported his forum posts as harassment, and they were deleted. He then kept reposting, I kept reporting, they got deleted, he kept reposting..etc. I didn’t respond to him directly at all. Instead, I wrote an email to Blizzard’s customer support:

To Whom it May Concern,

Once upon a time there was a warlock in my guild named XXXXXX. (<Masochistic Tendencies> Uldaman). He may have been a grump, but he was a loveable grump. We had fun in the guild raiding and such. Then one day  for reasons unbeknownst to me decides to rage-quit. I tried to ask him once what happened, he said “no.” I never again attempted to contact him, and moved on.

Since this player left, he has been resorting to childish and harassing behavior on the Uldaman realm forums under the thread “How is this server?” (

The following is quoted from the forums terms of use, and I’ve bolded the syntax that pertains to this incident:

“This category includes both clear and masked language and/or links to websites containing such language or images which:

  • Insultingly refer to other characters, players, Blizzard employees, or groups of people
  • Result in ongoing harassment to other characters, players, Blizzard employees, or groups of people

Harassment takes many forms, and is not necessarily limited to the type of language used, but the intent. Repeatedly targeting a specific player with harassment can lead to more severe action. The idea behind this is to prevent any one player from consistently being uncomfortable in the World of Warcraft forums.”
In the thread I specified above, this user is masking his language to make it look harmless, however the repeated XXXX statement is a direct attack at me personally. One day he “overheard” myself and another player talking in officer chat (he was an officer/raid leader at the time) about my past relationship with someone [….].

He can say whatever he wants about the server. However the direct personal attacks have got to stop. Every time I report his post, he either deletes it and re-posts it, or a moderator deletes it and he re-posts it. You will see I have reported him many many times for harassment, and his behavior still continues. He has also used “masked” language to attack my guild in his first post in the thread, but honestly, nobody is going to care about that. What I do care about is where it gets very personal, and the intent behind his repeated statements is actually sexual harrassment because the line refers to a sexual incident. The intent is to make me feel like a failure in that respect, and it is completely and 100% uncalled for.

Please, PLEASE make this stop.


“Alykii” of Uldaman

This got him a forum ban. So he took it into the game. At this time I had all his toons on “ignore” so if he tried to contact me directly, he couldn’t get through. I was farming Stratholme for the Rivendare mount on Aly, when I got a tell from someone else I knew in game saying:

“Do you know what XXX is saying about you in trade?”

“Nope, I have him on ignore”

“he’s spamming, ask Alykii about […]”

So I hearthed back to Dalaran, briefly “unignored” him to see what he was saying. Sure enough, he was spamming trade

“ask Alykii about […]”

Ticket time! I opened an in-game ticket citing further harassment from this player. A GM responded thanking me for reporting it, that they “take these incidents very seriously and action will be taken”. Of course they couldn’t go into detail on what kind of action, but it obviously got him a ban from the game.

Did it end there? Nope. Where can’t blizzard touch him? Facebook! He started sending me threatening emails on facebook saying “you messed with the wrong motherfucker” and I “was going to pay” for “getting him banned.” I never responded to him or gave him any direct reaction. I then completely shut down my facebook, removed my home town (at the time I was planning a cross country move), removed all permissions for wall posts, emails, etc. He wasn’t working – he had gotten laid off (one of his IRL issues), so he had all the time in the world alone with his thoughts and at this point I had no idea what he truly would have been capable of. I was google’able from some of my work at my old job, and I was actually afraid he would drive to Boston, show up at my work and do something crazy. From the nature of his posts and emails, I had to assume he was capable of just about anything.

So I moved (not because of him but because I had to get away from my old job), and I never heard from him again until a year ago when he sent Star a mile long apology and asked her to forward it to me, since I completely shut all avenues of contact from him. That’s when I found out everything going on in his life at the time, and his actual suicide attempt. Instead of contempt or anger, all I could feel was pity. He was getting help… and from there I can only hope life got better for him. That was the last time I talked to or heard from him.

Categories: Confessions

Confessions of a Raid Leader

November 1, 2011 Leave a comment

The last time I was a dedicated raid leader, I led 25 man Naxx in Wrath….which ended badly.

Since the day I took over guild leadership, I went through raid leaders with the same frequency that I went through toilet paper. I had different leaders from Ulduar through ICC. I lost count, really. They either quit the game, or rage quit the guild and stalked me on face book and harassed me on the blizz forums. (I was thisclose to a restraining order. Please, stay on your meds folks.)

Anyway, the cycle continued through the opening of the Cataclysm expansion.. although luckily, at a much slower pace. We expanded to 2 groups, and eventually to 3. I have raid leader “teams” in each group to prevent burn out from it all falling on one person. So far, it’s working.

I should pause here to say, even though I’m not a “raid leader” per se, I am the primary raid coordinator. I chose the leaders, I set up the group configurations for each group, I listen to my raid leaders regarding recruiting needs…

Rodin: Aly I need a blood lust
Me: Otay

And being the recruitment bitch that I am, I go find Rodin a blood lust or at least a squishie that knows how to dance the Time Warp (it’s just a jump to the left….)

The reason why I chose to have 3 set groups instead of revolving signups is we cannot underestimate the importance of group chemistry and cohesion. I would love people to switch around and know each other better too, but for a progress focused guild, this is what’s best for us. There can be confusion with assignments, positioning, etc when you rotate other people in.

(yes that was my segway right there!)

So, last night our raid leader was absent due to snowmagedddon and we were missing another dps. One of our healers was also sick, but bravely fought by our sides. In hindsight, when it was asked if we should just clear on regular mode on Sunday and take Monday off, we probably should have done that. But that’s hindsight.

So the plan Monday was to just kill Majordomo on regular, kill rag and call it an early night. 10 wipes on Rag and 2 hours later, so much for that!

We had missed assignments everywhere, seeds everywhere, what the fail?? 8 out of 10 members in that group had this boss on farm. The 2 we had filling in knew the fight – one does it on his tank (so yeah filling in on ranged makes it a whole new fight) and the other had worked on rag with us once before. From me leading, to tanks dying, to sons blowing up the raid, it was a group fail.

To everyone’s credit, after the first few attempts of missed assignments on the sons, we did a Yakk and used flares and I did a pop quiz before the pull telling everyone to go to their left hammer spots… right hammer spots… middle hammer spots. And it worked. After that the sons went a lot smoother. Then we had seed problems. 2 seeds dropped on our stack point /facepalm. Back to the mock-up on where we drop seeds. So that was resolved. Then scions came out and everything went to hell. Oh well. That’s why I’m not a raid leader anymore. Things just seem to go to hell and people run in circles when I’m in charge.

Yakkypoo I missed you!! 😦

Categories: Confessions
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